Monday, July 30, 2012

Your Life Story

(A blog from my Facebook written on 07/20/11.)

Behind every person is a story. Every story is unique; no two are the same. Some people were born with a silver spoon in their mouth, and some have struggled from day one. Some people have witnessed or even gone through tragedy, and some have been sheltered. A lot of people say they have no regrets, but I find that hard to believe. Everyone has regrets, whether what they did was small or big, unimportant or life-altering. The things you've experienced in life shape you into the person you are.

I wish someone* would give me credit for the changes I've made...the person I was 3 years ago && the person I am today are complete opposites... I've made my amends && that's all I can do. It's just frustrating when people don't realize how difficult it was to leave that life && those people behind me.

I can honestly say only one person knows my true story. Many people know parts of it, but I can truly say only one person knows everything. People tend to judge immediately, even if they don't know the person. They go by what they hear from other people. They form opinions based on petty gossip. Everyone judges, it's human nature. I choose to wait to judge someone fully until I get to know them. Of course I judge by their first impression and appearance, everyone does, but I don't set my decision in stone until I really get to know someone. It's hard for me to open up to people because I know they'll pass judgement on me. I've been through more struggle in the last 7 years than some people go through in their whole life. I know struggle. Most of it was brought on by bad decisions I've made. I have a lot of regrets, but good things have come from the bad times after the smoke finally cleared.

The things I've been through have made me a stronger woman and have taught me a lot about myself. I now know when to leave, when to say no, and when to run the other way and never look back. I've learned how a man is supposed to treat a woman. I've learned that it's OK to say no and not to bite more than I can chew. I've learned that I CAN be independent, and that I don't need a man to do things for me. Any man that isn't trying to help me achieve my goals isn't worth my time. If things wouldn't have happened the way they did, I wouldn't have my two beautiful daughters. They really saved my life.

If you know my story, you'll know what I'm talking about. If you don't, I'm obviously not comfortable telling you or we're not close enough and I'm not going to elaborate on it. I really wish that the people closest to me, that saw me at my lowest point, when I hit rock bottom, would realize how far I've come. People love to tell me what I "should be" doing && what I "could be" doing, but no one acknowledges the positive things I've done. If you look at me now, and you look at me even just 3 short years ago, I'm on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. I dug a hole for myself && it took me forever to get out, but I'm striving to get to the top and I'm well on my way. I'm not a "normal" 22 year old. The 5 years of my life that I was into the bullshit, were basically wasted time and while my peers were worried about college and jobs, I was focused on getting money to feed my habit. I know the dark place I've come from and I'm proud of myself and where I am right now, but it would be nice if someone else noticed once in a while.

Ask yourself, who would be in your story? Would there be a happy ending or is it to be continued? As of right now, my story went from a horror story to a fairytale. It's not the end though, and I plan on continuing to strive to achieve my goals && show everyone that thinks badly of me who the REAL me is.

"People don’t usually come back this way
From a place that was dark as I was in
Just to get to this place
Now let these words be like a switch blade to a haters rib cage
And let it be known from this day forward
I wanna just say thanks cause your hate is what gave me the strength" --Eminem

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